I think that your ex should have nothing to do with your current dating (online dating with Match.com) life - it could lead to him interfering with any new relationships...

Yeah, my ex bf tried that crap with me.  He claimed he was looking out for me by trying to set me up with one of his friends after he dumped me.  Right!  When I didn't accept the invitation and told him I can shop on my own, he told me he wanted to check out a guy before I dated him so he would make sure they were up to his standars.  He actually said this! .

All he wanted to do was meddle in my life and wanted a reason to keep tabs on me because he was afraid I was going to find someone else before he did, so he wanted to play this silly little game with me.  It didn't go far because the last thing I wanted was any part of his snooping in my life after he took it upon himself to exit. .

I informed him that my personal life after he left was none of his business and his butting in on MY dating (online dating with Match.com) scene was inappropriate and not appreciated.  I told him he wasn't my dad and the next guy I date using Match.com was going to be a complete opposite of him.  And I sure didn't want any of his friends........they were just like him, losers!  And then I implemented "No Contact" and that was that..

Tell this guy to buzz off.  His intentions are of a selfish nature, he's not doing any of it for your benefit. .

Deb.

 "OMG, I got engaged, the world will never be the same!...." ..

I really want to stay friends with this man. My gut tells me he is operating this way out of guilt. He feels guilty for hurting me and wants to wash his hands of that feeling by making sure I am happy. But for his reasons, not for me. Not because I am ready to date using Match.com someone. I think he's a good guy who I need to stay away from for a while.

But this is probably what is best for both of us and will prevent any further ridiculous schemes from causing conflict between us. Breakups seem to get harder and more complex the older I get. He's not a jerk, he didn't dick me around. He was a gentleman and now he is just behaving weird because he feels guilty. And I feel guilty ignoring his calls..

He is either really bored or really weird or both.  If you want to stay friends him just tell him to stop trying to set you up.  No need to go into WHY he's doing it, imo.   I get that you care bec you're not over him, but you need to stop caring what he thinks anyways so now's a good time to start...

Guilt is NOT a healthy reason for doing something. For either of you. I am not assuming he is a jerk but it is NOT POSSIBLE to be friends with someone right after a significant breakup. Never. If he really wants to be your friend he will understand that you need time to move on. And he should not be a part of your dating (online dating with Match.com) life at all whatsoever.

Definitely go forward with not contacting him and not picking up the phone - But explain what you're doing beforehand so he isn't confused. He needs to be understanding...

It sounds like he's having trouble letting go... offering to set you up makes no sense for anyone!.

,..

I told him it was both very sweet and very horrible. And that who and when I date using Match.com is of no concern of his. After having time to reflect, I think he just felt guilty about hurting me. But his behavior was unacceptable. It just hurt me further. I'm taking time away from him.

I hope! I'm having trouble letting go too, because I want to be friends with him. Only time will tell if that is possible. Sigh...

It appears that your ex is "old school", but I haven't heard of this sort of behavior in many years. Years ago, before matrimony entered my life, I would usually end a relationship (thru Match.com) with a girlfriend by finding a way to create a situation where she felt it was her idea to dump me. On occasion, if I found this to not be working, I would then try to find a male friend for her to ease me out of the picture..

Somehow, I think modern couples are too sophisticated to not see this for what it is...

I don't think this was the case since he dumped me. Made it clear he didn't want to see me AND he was the one maintaining contact. My only contact with him was when he called me. I think he felt bad he hurt me. Or he's crazy. Either way, I'm leaving him alone now...

I agree.  Keep your personal life personal at this point.

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