I don't understand the problem.  You are a grown woman with children?  You are posting this same query on multiple boards?  You want to know something from him - just.ask.him...

But, as I said in the post, how do you ask without making it sound like you are looking for a commitment? In other words, I don't know what to say! I've never had this experience before so I honestly don't know what is going on!..

The problem is that you're so worried about what he thinks and that if you say X, you'll lose him.  People are always so afraid of losing X person that they freeze themselves and hold back. .

I never hold back.  I just say whatevers on my mind and if he doesnt like it then he just doesnt, whatever.  My life is not going to end because of it..

You're sweating someone you havent even kissed? What if he's a horrid kisser?  Why are you so concerned about wording and so on?  Just say what you want to say, ask what you want to ask.  Chillax. ..

You have only known him for a month and only been on 6 dates and you want to have a where is this going talk?  Its way, way to soon if thats the case.  Talk about scaring him off that would probably do it..

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My next door neighbor.

Wants to ban all guns.

THEIR HOUSE IS UNARMED.

Out of respect for their opinion I will not protect.

Them with my guns..

I think it's weird she doesnt know if they are dating.. but I think she's "confused" because they havent kissed yet.  6 dates and one month is kinda long for no kissing lol  well, maybe he is a prude..

  is that the issue StartOver??.

Ok wording. well, I wouldnt literally say "hey. dude.  where is this going".  id just be like "why havent you kissed me, you fool?" .

But kissing should come naturally.  I mean, you havent yet after this time - maybe there's no chemistry there....

Well they have been on 6 dates, I would call that dating.  As for a kiss it is a little long but maybe he is very respectful, doesnt want to her to think he is only after her for sex, maybe he is as confused as she is.  Who knows??  Mainly I dont see a problem here, but maybe I am having a "senior moment" LOL..

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My next door neighbor.

Wants to ban all guns.

THEIR HOUSE IS UNARMED.

Out of respect for their opinion I will not protect.

Them with my guns..

I am NOT looking for a commitment, I think I said that in my original post.What I am confused about is the amount of time he seems to be directing to me, and yet there is no physical aspect to this.As a person who, I thought, made it clear that I was looking for a relationship, not looking for new friends, my problem is that I can't figure out what HIS deal is.Is he looking for a new BFF? I just finished off a relationship (thru Match.com) in which I was 'demoted' from girlfriend to friend. I have a lot of friends already...I wouldn't be on a dating (online dating with Match.com) site if I was looking for friends.Is he looking for a girlfriend? If so, I think it's odd that after a month, six dates, and countless e-mails and loonnnggg phone calls, that all I have ever gotten is a hug.To listen/read the "experts" on dating, the fact that he has made little physical contact would suggest that he isn't into me in "that way". He likes me, sure, but I'm not doing it for him. So there is where the confusion is...one party is telling me he is being respectful, the other is saying he's clearly not interested.My thing is, I like him. I'd like to see where this could go. But if I am in the friend zone, I would rather put my energy into finding someone who wants a relationship. But on the other hand, I don't want to embarrass myself by asking a question if the "answer" is dancing in front of me and I am too thick to see it.I am sure this doesn't make sense, but it doesn't make sense to me, which is why I am asking the question...

Well, again, I am direct and unafraid.  ill just straight out ask.  you cant get anywhere in life unless you take a chance.  and what is there to be embarassed about?  I am never embarassed to express myself or make genuine inquiries.  I dunno, maybe you have confidence issues...

The next time he asks you out ask him "is this a date?" - you can say it in a lighthearted manner .. but you'll get an answer...

I'd be direct and ask him if he's looking to date using Match.com or looking for friendship as you're getting the feeling that he just wants to be friends..

Sheri..

Why not ask him to a home cooked meal, have music, candles, see where it leads....

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Don't ask him "what are we doing here". Just kiss him and see what his response is. That will tell you. Then you can move on or not without ever talking about it.

~Di..