Your question was: How do you fond a mate if you are 51 divorced and cant pay for match.com services?.

It depends upon the situation.  I met a guy once a long time ago at a friends party whom I was not interested in at all and he sent me flowers.  I said "thank you."  He got pissed because I didn't put more emotion into my response and my answer was I never gave you any reason to think I was interested.  I told him it was his choice to send the flowers.  Isn't gift giving suppose to be from the heart?  He sent them expecting a response and got mad it wasn't what he expected...again, it's on him..

I dated a guy and he did something that was an incredible romantic gesture and when I responded that I was blown away by it he reacted negatively and shut me down.  If he were to make any new gestures I would hold back because I'm would not be sure how he was going to react.  So I would simply say "thank you."  Plus, I don't think he understands my humor and may take things too personal. .

There could be two reasons why she only reacted with a "thank you" and one of them could be how he reacts to her in return after she shows any kind of emotion.  Just a thought.   ..

If the relationship (thru Match.com) is over why does he want this woman's attention?  I dont think she did anything wrong...if she has communicated clearly that she wants no contact with him. He needs to get it into his head that it is time to move on...

The guy told me, that even though they are not dating, they end the relationship (thru Match.com) in good terms.  Maybe once he sent the basket he expected more from her becaue they are friends., I mean a more emotional response and that he did not get, so he is pissed off, he believed his efforts were not worth then..

They both live in different states. The odd thing was that this lady is not dating (online dating with Match.com) anyone but she told him that she is not dating (online dating with Match.com) beacuse she only  likes him, whats up with that?.

So do you think he should not have sent those ballons to his ex?.

 ..

This is confusing - she is not dating (online dating with Match.com) anyone because of her feelings for him?  But...will she date using Match.com him?.

If she is open to reconciling then her response did fall flat so I can understand his feelings. But, if she is not interested in reconciling, and told him that...regardless of her emotions (she could be working things through in order to get over him)...then he should not have sent her anything and then expected a response - foolish on his part..

They may be "friends" but only used as a term that years ago people would say that they are on good terms with each other. You know, not really friends but no animosity...

>>The odd thing was that this lady is not dating (online dating with Match.com) anyone but she told him that she is not dating (online dating with Match.com) beacuse she only  likes him, whats up with that?<<.

Do you know for sure that she told him this? Isn't it possible that.

(1) She told him she's not dating (online dating with Match.com) anyone else YET because she still has feelings for him.

(2) She's not dating (online dating with Match.com) and he ASSUMES it's because of him.

Or.

(3) He's just lying because he got egg on his face?.

I don't know (obviously) whether she gave him the impression that they still had a chance or if he just assumed they did, but obviously there was a miscommunication. However, I see nothing wrong with her response. Exactly what was she supposed to say/do? I think he needs to get over himself..

CL - Women of Color  ..

I am not trying to sound negative here but I have learned from experience that when a man says he is still "friends" with an ex he is keeping his foot in the door so-to-speak.  He still has some hope they may give the relationship (thru Match.com) another go.  If he is still talking about his ex then he really isn't ready for a new relationship.  If he was ready then you wouldn't hear a word about his ex and he concentrate solely on you...