Ya know you are a great guy. it just isnt working for me. There is something missing..not sure what it is it just doesnt feel right...

Whatever you do, don't lie or make up an excuse. What if he says "that's ok, I'm busy too and I don't mind"? Then you're kinda stuck. And honestly, if you don't like him enough now to make him into the guy you choose, he's not going to be in six months. You don't want a fall back guy, you want to meet the RIGHT guy.You can be honest without being brutal, he can take it. If he calls again or if you talk to him, say "listen I had fun hanging out with you but there's someone I'm starting to see more seriously and it wouldn't be fair for us to keep dating."..

I agree, don't make something up.  If you're planning to keep seeing the other guy, then obviously you are NOT too busy to date ;-)!.

I have trouble characterizing not seeing someone again after a few dates as a breakup, personally.  For me, in order to break up with someone you have to be in an exclusive relationship (thru Match.com) with them.  Not seeing someone again is just that...it's not that big a deal (whether I'm the one saying it or on the receiving end)..

If you've only gone out a few times, then the next time he calls to ask you out, I'd let him know that you've decided the two of you are not a match.  I wouldn't pro-actively say something if he hasn't asked you out however...for all you know he's thinking the same thing..

Sheri.

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We already have a date using Match.com set for Friday, which I don't want to go out on.  Oh, and I also found out last night that it's his birthday on Friday.  Could I feel like more of a jerk?.

Crap, I think I'm going to have to call him today (he'll know something's up because I NEVER call) and tell him that I think he's great, but I'm just not feeling it..

Of course, if I didn't have this other guy to compare him to, where the chemistry is off the charts, I may be feeling it.  But right now, I'm so distracted by this other guy that birthday boy has no chance at all..

Aw criminy......

I agree you should call and cancel. But you're not a jerk for not feeling it with him, birthday or no - He'll go out with friends on Friday and feel fine.Remember this isn't a breakup, you're not a couple and it won't be the end of his world. It would be more awkward to go on a date using Match.com with him on his birthday when you know you're not into him...

Crap.  I just got a sweet, squishy text from him that would normally have me feeling all warm and fuzzy.  Instead, it just made my stomach drop, because I feel like I'm leading him on!  I need to end this NOW. .

Just give me a minute to screw up some courage.....

Here's wishing you courage...I know it'll be hard but better to do it sooner rather than later so he can make other plans for Friday (that is a tough timing break though!)..

I'm going to have to have a similar conversation with a guy I've been out with a few times...just not feeling it with him.  I'm almost positive he will be calling again so I'll have to bite the bullet sometime soon myself....

Sheri..

You've already been given some great advice and I agree honesty is the best way to go, but here's an article that may help, too: What's the best way to break up with a guy?.

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Yes, it's good to be honest but diplomatic, caring and complimentary but give the person an answer, something to hold onto so there can be closure and learning from the experience.

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