How to search by name on Match.com?

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My question is: How to search by name on Match.com?.

My 2nd question is: My bf of almost 3 years recently told me "we need each other too much," and I thought it was a bad thing, but he didn't mean it like that. I don't want us to be "needy" to each other, and we're not. I just wonder now, in general, if a couple can really work in the long run if they "need each other too much."our relationship (thru Match.com) has it's share of unusual problems. for one, we both have chronic health problems that can be life threatening if not treated. of course, we would need each other. we've been thru a lot together so far, and he's been there for me as much as i've been there for him.

We share our love for each other all the time, and it amazes me how much we just work together. at the same time, we still do our own things. we are not attached at the hip. at the end of the day, we always miss each other and want to see each other every single day, since we're not living together. marriage is down the path, by the way, so for things to get serious lately with everything that's been going on in our lives, I tend to stop and ponder some things along the way.

There's nothing wrong with "needing each other too much," is there? I told him it's just cuz we love each other. I think the only optimism in our health problems is that as a couple, at least we can both understand each other better since we're both experiencing this. I just wonder now if it'll be healthy (emotionally, mentally) for us in the long run, though... when say, I might not be strong enough to be there for him when he needs me and vice versa..... can someone give me an outside, objective point of view pls? thanks for reading.(please read my clarification on Reply #5).

Edited 9/19/2009 1:49 pm ET by emilyn85..

Comments (4)

He may be alluding to the fact he feels he is losing his independence. You have been together in a LTR and it could just be that he is trying to get a little bit of "him" space to be himself instead of always an "us".If youre struggling with his choice of words, ask him to clarify what exactly he means. If he did not mention a separation or time away, then he could be merely expressing a fleeting thought, or it possibly could be an indicator of laying the groundwork for something else. You need to ask him outright.SB.

Que Sera Sera - Whatever will be, will be...

Comment #1

I guess it could be bad or good. I think there's an amount of "need" we place on a person we've been with for a long time because we rely on them and put them in an important position in our lives. Your health problems create a unique role for one another in your lives, too. I don't think it's wrong for you to need one another in some ways, especially since you say you have individual lives that you maintain, so I don't really think he meant this statement negatively.I think when a couple gets married and starts a life together, they need one another. There's nothing wrong with that, it doesn't signify "neediness" (a different concept) or unhealthiness. Perhaps he is making a statement about your commitment together. I guess I would ask him if he means it negatively, since he did throw the word "too" in there, and ask him what he would change if he could...

Comment #2

You really didnt elaborate about why he said what he said - for instance, what prompted him to say that, is he worried about his health, is he worried about losing you .. thus the person who takes care of him, etc. If you could probe him for more clarification .. then maybe you would be better able to address it...

Comment #3

Thank you, all, for your replies so far. I need to clarify myself tho. my reason for posting this was not concerning specifically "why" he said what he said. I do not worry why he said "we need each other too much." to copy from my original post: << I just wonder now, in general, if a couple can really work in the long run if they "need each other too much." >> especially concerning our circumstances that I described....thanks...

Comment #4

This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.

candidablog.com

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This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.