There are a lot of factors that will dictate whether or not this works.I think your age difference is less detrimental to that possibility, however, than the fact that you have an intense fear of being alone romantically.I don't know how long you have officially been seeing this guy but I do hope you've given yourself enough time to reestablish yourself as an individual in order to feel comfortable with yourself whether or not you are in a relationship. I am concerned that hasn't happened. It doesn't mean that you need to end this relationship, but you should be careful about taking things too quickly or becoming too dependent on him for your happiness. New relationships are easy to maintain and become attached to; when the fireworks show is over, that will be the real test of compatibility. This age difference will only be a problem if dating (online dating with Match.com) an older man is inherently problematic for you. Yes he's on the verge of retirement, does that bother you? You're clearly willing to overlook it...
Relationships with bigger age differences have worked out. Generally relationships do not end because of age difference alone. What causes them to end are the problems CREATED by age differences - Life philosophy, ability to pursue interests together, compatibility, world experience. Those can cause rifts but they do not break apart every couple who faces them.Your fear is what hampers you the most. Are you seeking any kind of counseling at the moment?..
I suppose I never thought of it that way... fear of being alone. During my marriage I was constantly alone and raised my children for the most part by myself. My ex is a workaholic and travels all the time. We grew apart so I am not used to having a relationship (thru Match.com) that involves a "companion" of any sort (except my dog and kids, really) - we didn't even share a bed for a year. I was going to counseling for 2 years prior to leaving my ex. Once I left my counselor told me that she thought I was doing well and there really was no reason to continue so I haven't. .
Thank you, you gave me something to think about. I may have a fear of being alone, but it feels so nice to have someone to do things with...
Another thought since I have my children most of the time, I still spend most of my time alone (with the kids). I am keeping my romantic and family life separate for the time being...
That is definitely for the best. As long as you are leading a happy and fulfilling life that doesn't hinge on one person to keep on being happy - You will be fine no matter what...
Have you checked out the "May-December Relationships" board? There are many women, myself included, dating (online dating with Match.com) an older man..
I have been with my DF for 7 1/2 years and we are very happy. I'm the one with the cold feet to get married but I know in my heart we will eventually marry.
Come and check out the site. There are so many wonderful people with lots of experience and advice. Hope to see you there. Hugs, Lu.
"IMAGINE" All The people, Living Life in Peace....................,.
"You may say I'm a dreamer; But, I'm not he only one.".
"Be A Dreamer and Imagine."..
