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My first question is: Is match.com a good place to meet single women?.

My next question is: Ten dating (online dating with Match.com) Red Flags.

September 12, 2008 2:35 PM by Rich Santos | 100 Views,.

6 COMMENTS.

Http://www.marieclaire.com/life/sex/dating/dating-red-flags-relationships?link=rel&dom=msn&src=syn&c....

When determining if you should let things get serious, remember:  actions speak louder than words.  With that being said, here are ten dating (online dating with Match.com) red flags.  If you see any of these, do yourself a favor and reconsider if it's worth it for you:.

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1.  You Are Not on the VIP List For Breaking News.

Were you the last to learn about this person's job promotion or newborn niece or nephew?  Once things are serious, you should be among the first to know about exciting news, or bad news..

2.  They Avoid Meeting Your Family or Friends.

If they are shying away from meeting your friends/family consistently, then there are problems.  Even if they are very shy, they should want to meet those who are important to you. .

3.  They Don't Make Any Sacrifices.

Healthy relationships don't require bending over backwards all the time, but a certain amount of sacrifice is necessary in a selfless union.  When two of my friends first started dating (online dating with Match.com) one another, she demanded that he go to Farm Aid for her birthday, which was also the opening NFL football Sunday.  While all the guys gathered to watch the games, he was sweltering on some field attending Farm Aid-an event he never would have gone to if she hadn't of invited him.  Now that's sacrifice..

4.  They Can't Fit In Your Future.

I admit it.  When I meet girls, I envision future moments I may some day share with them.  Most of my scenarios are her with my family and I at a Christmas holiday, or at a summer crabfeast.  If I'm really into her, I usually relish the thought.  If not, I kinda cringe..

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5.  They Are Too Controlling.

It's scary but I've seen many relationships where guys forbid girls to hang out with certain friends, or wear certain clothes.  Major problem if someone is controlling you and not allowing you to be who you want to be within a relationship..

6.  The "What Are We" Conversation Fails Miserably.

Almost every relationship (thru Match.com) hits that crossroads where you both decide if it's worth taking the plunge into being exclusive and calling each other boyfriend/girlfriend.  If they are confused and surprised that you're ready to get serious, the timing is not right, and you should try to figure out how long you want to wait around until they are ready..

7. They Talk About Plans That Don't Involve You.

My sister has major wanderlust.  She's always talking about heading off to Chicago or living in London for a year.  She often talks about these things with no regard for the fact that she has a boyfriend at the time.  If you find that someone is making plans or talking about far off places without inviting you along for the ride, don't let yourself get too into them..

8.  Your Friends of Family Don't Like Them.

Remember that your friends and family know you best.  Don't take their thoughts with a grain of salt.  It's one thing if a person or two don't get along with your significant other, but if a lot of them are saying you should reconsider, then do it.  Unfortunately, we often find out about how much our friends hated that person after this person is gone..

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9.  They Violated Your Trust.

Whether it's cheating or a little lie that they got caught in, it will be hard to regain trust.  Trust is something we don't' give away easily and once it's gone it's hard to get it back.  We'll always be wondering about that lie, and doubt will creep in more and more as our minds fixate on that lie.  Too often, people take trust for granted and once they lose it they never get it back..

10.  You Practice "Unbalanced Dating".

Are you always seeing his friends or doing things that he wants to do?  Do you just let him pick the restaurants, and events?  Or is it the other way around?  Relationships are fun when you are both able contribute.  If you're not taking turns creating fun times together, it will most likely fizzle out..

Photo Credits: RS, http://www.weblo.com/domain/available/bdfarm.com/, http://www.abroad.pitt.edu/pittinlondon/fall2008.html..

Comments (8)

Your question was: Is match.com a good place to meet single women?.

Interesting. Thanks for posting..

CL - Women of Color  ..

Comment #1

Yes interesting as it is from the perspective of a guy and it seems very practical...

Comment #2

Good piece. Essentially whenever someone doesn't treat you with respect or make you a priority, it's a red flag.

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Comment #3

Good stuff, I like reading articles that extend beyond the very obvious stuff ("he's cheating on you, this is a red flag")..

Comment #4

Yes, thought provoking and helpful. Thank you so much for sharing!.

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Comment #5

I know and everyone usually makes excuses because we dont want to accept the truth...

Comment #6

- If he doens't answer your calls 90% of the time >> means he is not interested any more, just leave don't bother ...

- he says he wants no pressure and just wants to have fun > means he wants to date using Match.com other poeple or he has already been cheating on u.

- he doens't meet you often > leave, he doesn't know what he wants.

- he doesn't make sacrifice or finds excuse to not help you out  > he doen't think your important enough...leave!.

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Comment #7

Men in general are practical, concrete and weigh things rationally. When we try to take all the emotion away it gives us a much more grounded perspective.

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Comment #8


This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.

 

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