Is Match.com worth the money?
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My question is: Is Match.com worth the money?.
Ok, sorry for this LONG POST! But I need advice about this:.
I met this guy through a dating (online dating with Match.com) website online a year ago. I live in the south, and he lives on the east coast, but I travel there often for work. We started talking last spring, met up several times over the summer, and we started dating (online dating with Match.com) last fall when I was on the east coast for a few months for work. That's when things started picking up, and we really started hanging out. I met all of his friends and family, spent Christmas vacation with his friends, and he even flew out to the south to meet my family. So there was no doubt on either end that we were both definitely "boyfriend/girlfriend"..
This year I was in the process of applying for a job and there was a strong possiblity that I would end up in the same region as him. He knew all of this from the beginning, and knew that there was a small possibility I might not end up on the east coast. We hadn't really talked about what would happen if I were to end up someplace far away, but for the time being I assumed we wouldn't be talking to other people (at least I wasn't). I was away from the east coast for much of 2008. But the whole time I was away we kept in daily contact online and by calling. Even when I was abroad for a month..
I found out last month that I got a job offer which will place me close to where he lives starting this summer, and we were both thrilled. The whole time he kept making references to how he would come see me when I moved there, etc etc. So naturally I thought that we were serious in his mind..
But shortly after I found out, I visited him and asked him if he thought we were serious and exclusive. His reaction totally surprised me. He said that he thought we were still dating (online dating with Match.com) casually, and that we should be seeing other people between now and when I move to the east coast in 2 months. He said that he still had some doubts about me, but when I asked him what they were, he couldn't articulate what they were. Then I asked him if he had been talking to somebody else. I asked him repeatedly, and he denied it..
So naturally I was really upset after what he said, because here I was all along, thinking that he had serious intentions. Then I looked through his email (which I know is wrong, but I had to know) and saw that he had been emailing another girl for the past 2 months, and that they had met up. This made me even more angry..
The entire next day I was REALLY upset- wouldn't return his texts, etc. Then he came over because he said he wanted to see me. And I broke down and pretty much told him how sad I was about what he said the other day. He told me that he realized that what he said was idiotic, and that he does in fact want to be serious with me, and that he didn't think through what he said and that he realizes that a lot of what he said was ridiculous. He said he had a wake up call and realized that when I didn't return his texts he was going crazy because he thought he might have lost me forever, and that it wasn't until then that he realized what a mistake he had made. But he again denied having talked to somebody else.
I felt better, but still was really hurt that he wasn't being up front with me about the other girl. So the next day I had to fly home. And I confronted him about the other girl, and he finally admitted that he had met her twice for coffee, but nothing had happened at all. He said he's ashamed of it, and did it because he didn't know where I was going to end up for my job. And that he was trying to distance himself emotionally by being cynical because he has been screwed by girls when he has gotten too close to them in the past. And that he felt horrible for not being completely honest with me, and that he's never done that in his life.
At which point I told him that I was about to break up with him one day earlier and that I felt like we had taken 10 steps back. I asked outright again if he a)wanted to be serious b) wanted to still be talking to other people. He said that he definitely wanted all of those things, a second chance to be committed to me, and that he is no longer emailing other girls. And that he still wants to give us a shot and see how things go this summer. And all this month we've been long distance, and he's been nothing but positive about us..
So this is my question....should I stay with this guy? I know he cares about me a lot and when we're together it's been great. I'm attributing the stuipd things he said to him honestly being confused and giving him the benefit of the doubt because I didn't know where my job relocation was going to place me until last month. .
Or am I being totally naive? If he's with held information from me once, will he do it again? I truly think he did have a wake up call, but I'm naturally very jaded so I want some un-biased opinions..
Thanks SO MUCH!!! :-)..