Mixed Signals

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So I have been interested in this guy that I work with for a long time now. And over the summer we actually started hanging out outside of work. First he had a party and that went ok, nothing happened, but it was fun. Then I invited him out with me after I got out of work. He wasn't sure because he lives 45 mins from where we were going, so I thought he wouldn't come out. Least of all for a girl he was only just getting to know. But he came out anyways and he actually stayed out with me until 4 am. We talked to each other all night long about everything and anything and it was really fun. Then at my birthday party he called to say he couldn't make it because friends were in town and was already out. So imagine my surprise when he showed up later that night. We had a long conversation that night where I learned more about him. He wants to settle down, which I am actually attracted to. And I'm kind of confused about this. Is it just conversation, or is he hinting at something else? .

So then after that we didn't really do much outside of work. It took me a long time, to do it but I asked him out to dinner last weekend. I can't really remember what his exact words were, but he made it a point to emphasize that he would be in my neighborhood that night. So that's why I figured it would be a good opportunity to ask him out. He said no, saying that his sister was in town and was going to dinner with his parents. .

What I'm confused about is this: we flirt with each other a lot at work, outside of work we have a good time together, but I'm still confused about whether or not he is interested in me as more than a friend. ..

Comments (4)

Your question was: Mixed Signals.

He is not interested. Sorry to break it to you, but if he was, he would be the one asking you out. You wouldn't be sitting wondering if he liked you or not, because it would be obvious. Boys and girls flirt all the time. Either sex can be huge flirts and that's all it is. It doesn't mean they want to date. You've asked him out so many times already! I would not have gone as far as you have. You've done enough. Time to move on to bigger and better things (or men)... ..

Comment #1

"Is it just conversation, or is he hinting at something else? "> just conversation.

I dont see a big drive in him wanting to be with you, calling you, asking you out. If you pulled back on the invitations would you continue to see him or would things just fade away? These are the things you need to ask yourself. ..

Comment #2

See, that's what I thought too! But I have this tendency to listen to my friends at work, because they know the situation and they are an outside observer. I really should just learn to listen to myself! Thanks!..

Comment #3

It does sound like he enjoys your company but there's ambivalence. You asked him out to dinner and he said no without offering an alternative plan. So next move if any is up to him. But certainly feel free to put energy toward trying to meet other people.

,..

Comment #4

This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.

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This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.