Read my Got Dropped Out of Nowhere thread..
I have experienced the real thing before. the real thing is called that because it's supposed to last a considerable time so it is rare-they're not handed out like party favors. that's why you're experiencing what you are. you just never know when you're going to meet the right one for you and you the right one for them. it can be difficult. .
The guys you're dating (online dating with Match.com) fade themselves out bec they figure that you're not the right one for them. it's not you per se, it's just that you're not the one for them. .
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Try not to get discouraged, there are alot of good guys out there, truly. However are you acting in a way that shows you're really into the relationship, wanting, hoping for a lot? You want to act like you think the guy is nice but don't drop plans for him, etc. Let things evolve in their own time.
,..
I think that you're right to believe that YOU are the "common" denominator with all of the men you've dated. And I'm not saying you're all jacked in the head. I'm just saying that whatever energy you're putting out there, you're experiences are a DIRECT reflection of what you're putting out..
So since you've said that you've been getting "flaky" guys, it makes me wonder where in YOUR life you're being flaky. Maybe you're being flaky in the realm of recognizing the minor/major flaws in men. I'm not sure where that would be for you, so it's something that you can take a introspective look for yourself..
Have there been times when you've dated a guy that you noticed something about him that set off your "internal alarm" or IOW, "Red Flags" and ignored them? If in your past you've noticed traits about men and HOPED they would change or they weren't true, maybe that's where you've been flaky. I'm not sure, I'm just giving you my own observation from the information you've given..
Another thing you've noticed is that regardless of age and profession, there are TONS of guys that don't know their ass from a whole in the ground EMOTIONALLY. Society calls this being MATURE. I call it "emotionally healthy" b/c a man can be mature in business but not in r-ships. A man that is "emotionally healthy" in business WILL be so (usually) in intimate r-ships.
The trick is being able to RECOGNIZE the BS early on so that you can decide quickly whether or not you want to pursue something. I know you've mentioned that most of the guys you've dated "seemed" good at first. Well, now that you have experience noticing those traits, I'm sure you can come up with ways of "screening" them better. Your failed past r-ships are NOT failures. They're like little gold nuggets of information that you can leverage from and learn to not make the same mistakes..
If you notice that you keep making the same mistakes over and over again, having made the kinds of adjustments I've mentioned above, then I would take a LONG HARD look into who you are and why you are the way you are. From the sound of it, you seem to be emotionally healthy, so I'm not sure how much help you need, as far as, dealing with your own emotional demons, IF... there are any..
Just a thought...
I too live in the DFW area and have experienced similar things. I have been in long term relationships most of my life with the exception of dating (online dating with Match.com) the last 2 years. I too feel like there are so many weirdos out there. I hadn't dated in so long and now that I have been out in the dating (online dating with Match.com) world it really scares me. I try to re-evaluate the situations and think about where I met these people and cues that I should have picked up on during the interim and try not to make the same mistakes twice. Other than that, I don't know what to tell you but I totally know how you feel!..
Well....not that i'm glad it happens to you, but it does make me feel better! loli guess I wouldn't be so dang disappointed if the men didn't come on to ME!! whether i'm out with friends, or they randomly find me on myspace, heck even a guy in the grocery line!! they've all been the ones to initiate conversations, ask for my number and tell me they'd love to take me out. so i'm thinking, ok, he seems like a nice enough guy, i'll give him my number, he calls me for the next few weeks/months, and then one day, I just don't hear from them again. i'm pretty old fashioned, so I don't do alot of the contacting initially, but I feel like I act interested enough. I tell them i'd like to see him again, return calls, etc...it's just so WEIRD. I guess we'll just have to hang in there and weed them out...it would make it alot easier if they acted flaky to begin with! good luck with that!!! lol thanks for the reply!!..
