Like you, I'm in my mid-40's and dating (online dating with Match.com) just sucks at this age. And like you, I don't have a whole heck of a lot of places to meet people and most of my friends are married so I have no one to go out with to meet guys.You don't say how long you've been on-line, and that's a factor. Some people get lucky off the bat, others take a while.I've been at it for about a year. I met someone pretty fast (six weeks) and dated for a couple of months. Then back to the well for a few months, met a guy, had a turbulent relationship (thru Match.com) for a few months...Then back to the well. Just met a guy, we've been out twice as of yesterday, this morning he sent me an e-mail to say "hi"...so who knows?During those times I've been "at the well" I have felt miserable.

I wonder, "Geez, am I just ugly or something?" Guys who sent winks almost never even live in my state! Others who (seldom)send initial e-mails are so grossly inappropriate that I wonder if they even read the profile.I, unlike many others on this site, DO send initial e-mails to men. Sometimes I go on a rampage and send a dozen, very carefully crafted e-mails in a day. My track record for responses is pretty LOW. Sometimes I get a response and it's so lame *I* don't respond to THEM.But sometimes you do get a good one, and you trade a few back and forth and then they go "poof". The only reasons I can think for this are: they don't think you have enough in common, they are 'talking' to others they think might be more promising, they are married or involved with someone and doing this for kicks so they poof before something happens.

Really look at the profiles...it takes a little time. The guy I have had a couple of dates with didn't even show up on my search list...I clicked the "find others like him" on another guy and got this one. So for all the computer precision of the site, I would never have "found" this guy if I hadn't done a little more work!..

Hi and welcome to the board! Here are some links you may find useful:.

Finding a Great Guy Online: An Insider's Guide.

How to Write an Effective Online Profile (with Examples).

Online Dating .

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Wow!!! Thank you so much for your email.  You know you begin to think you are the only one that is going through this.  Its really encouraging to know that someone knows what it feels like.  I have been on this Website for a little under a month and I've only had a couple of good email.  What I don't understand is why would they contact you and ask what are their chances to get to know you and you respond to them that their chances are good and then nothing. That happened like twice.   I then that they receive my message because they viewed me again after I sent the response to them but they don't respond back.  Why initiate contact if you're not interested.  Then there was another one that sent me his number but because I didn't want to be the one to make the first call and sent him my number he called me last week left a message and then I returned his call but it didn't go to a voicemail so I sent him a message letting him know that I got his message and I look forward to hearing from him again, he responded back "ok beautiful" and haven't heard from him since and that was five days ago.  I am not one to make the first contact because I'm afraid of the rejection, my self esteem can't handle anymore.  So at this point I am very discourage.   But your latest sounds hopeful so I wish the best for you and I would love to know how things are going from time to time.  Thanks again for taking the time to send this message it really did help ...

Yes it is about being proactive. Also you can do social networking - facebook, meetups which connect people who have common interests. It's good to get involved in groups like that and friendships and more can form from those associations.  It only takes one in the end..

,..

This was my my experience, almost exactly.  Believe me, you're not the only one...

You already offer such great advice - I'm just happy to help.

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