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When you add someone to your match.com profile favorites, does that person you add know?

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My first question is: When you add someone to your match.com profile favorites, does that person you add know?.

My next question is: I have know this guy for a over 5 years. We were only friends before. He was married and I was married but now we are both single. We recently starting chatting online and although he has never asked me out on a date using Match.com yet or even for cofee, we like to chat with eachother and share our feeling and thoughts. We make eachother laugh online and I feel this connection with him. Before we started chatting, I never thought about him sexually but now, I do somewhat.

For example, he told me that he was having a really crappy day but now that I talked to him, I made his night. I do see him sometimes but when we see eachother, it's as if we are two different people It is hard to explain. When we are online, we totally let loose and may even flirt a bit but in person, we are both reserved, don't show any sign of interest in one another yet when one of us says "got to go" the other one says "well, ok" and stay just for a bit longer". We really have a nice time talking but does he want more and is shy to tell me ? I would like to start something if he is interested in me? I like him, how can I know if he likes me bacwk? I really want to keep him as my friend since he has been that for a long time. I don't want him to find out I like him and loose him as a friend if he doesn't feel the same for me.

What to do?.

Guest..

Comments (8)

Your question was: When you add someone to your match.com profile favorites, does that person you add know?.

Two things I've observed over the years that may help you decide whether or not to say anything:.

1.  A man who is interested in you romantically, who is available for a relationship (thru Match.com) and who is emotionally healthy WILL make his interest clear and ask you out..

2.  If you do ask and it turns out he's not interested, as long as YOU can continue to act normally, if you truly have a strong friendship, your friendship will be fine.  The key is for you to not act all awkward afterwards..

Sheri..

Comment #1

You see, I already know that if a guy really likes me, he will tell me, or let me know. I know that too. This is different because, it is not like I just met this guy. If this was a new guy, I would have dropped him already. We have known eachother for a while and I love the person he is, so sweet and caring and would do anything for me if I ever needed anything. I think he sent me some hints but am not sure if I interpreted these hints right. I think he wants to show me how he feels but he is shy.

I would rather live with secretely wanting him and still see him ever so often than telling him and not seeing him at all because I truly believe that if I do tell him, he will be scared off. I also know for a fact that he is looking for love and happiness. He told me himself. It's as if we have no problem telling eachother (online)  how unhappy we are presently and are seeking happiness and love but neither of us thought of telling the other person maybe we can be together. I know I can make him happy and I know he can me happy.

Guest..

Comment #2

I tend to agree with the others, and so it goes that even the "shy" guys will take the intiative and whos their interest.  But your relationship (thru Match.com) sounds a bit like one I have we are great friends; we flirt; he told me once "I'd have sex with you" but I don't think he was really so interested.  And so I've also been his "wing man" and his best friend and I have to say that sometimes guy friends who are open & friendly are great friends to have.  I would keep it friendl & light and see where it goes.  He'll ask if he's interested or when he's ready...

Comment #3

And it's also helpful afterward just to know you took a risk, no matter what the outcome!.

,..

Comment #4

I agree with the other posters. If a guy is interested in dating (online dating with Match.com) you, he will let you know (shy guys and outgoing guys). I have had a couple of guy friends that I hung around with, flirted with, and talked with on the phone. Both times when I let my intentions known (because I was SURE they liked me), it turned out that they just liked me as a friend, things got weird, and now we're no longer friends. If you're willing to risk the friendship, go ahead and ask. HTH...

Comment #5

When it comes to situations like this, I tend to think, nothing ventured, nothing gained.  It sounds like you have a comfortable relationship (thru Match.com) on-line.  My thoughts are to try to transfer that into real life, however long it takes, provided you're both game.  Perhaps you're both a little more comfortable with fantasy than reality right now.  I don't see anything wrong with that, however, ultimately, you'll probably want more.  If this is a friend you feel comfortable enough with to gradually become more vulnerable with, and vice' versa', I think it could be a very healing and growing experience for both of you.  I think the key is to just not push past each other's comfort levels too much, but still enough to keep it interesting and alive.  Good luck...

Comment #6

I am very direct. and impatient.  and I dont like to settle.  so of course I would just go for it and say something..

 ..

Comment #7

ITA = I totally agree.

CL - Women of Color  ..

Comment #8


This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.

 

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