Your question was: Which is better Match.com or eHarmony?.

I'm sure there are other guys out there with whom you could enjoy long talks.  It's smart that he doesnt invite you to his house when his child is there because you two are not in an exclusive serious relationship..

Not only will the child be there it will be his first priority and you will have a role in the care of this child if he chooses to introduce you, including preparing the child's meal, bath, and so on.  Not only will the child always be there...so will his ex who will not like you being involved in this child's life..

I dont blame you for not wanting to be tied down with someone else's child because I feel the same way. ..

Yes you should discuss things with him before getting further involved. Be open and honest that you don't really see children as part of your life and that you are pretty sure that won't change (only if it's true - not wanting to have children is different than wanting to be around them in other ways) In addition, his child is very small - so should things progress - you'd be in a parenting role that you aren't really willing to be in..

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You can't have the man without the child. And any man who lets go of his child to be with someone is not a man worth having - at least to me. So - you recognize that this is a potential deal breaker. You MUST talk about this and get really clear  on what each of you want for your respective futures and what you'd like with in a committed relationship..

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We often meet the "99% man" that tests our readiness and focus on what person is right for us. he can be EVERYTHING you want BUT - he has a child you don't want. If it annoys you now, ti will only get worse. do both of you a favor. He needs and deserves to be with someone who accepts his role as parent - and his child absolutely deserves to be in a family situation where she is included and loved by her stepparent. And you deserve to be with someone that is able to provide the kind of relationship (thru Match.com) you want.

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Only you can decide what is best for you - but he is a father and that cannot, will not change. You either accept it and all that it means or you move on before things get more difficult..

Toni..

I agree with toni 100%he and his kid is a package deal, the kid comes before you and as wonderful as i'm sure you are, he cannot choose you over it (he/she?). if you don't see yourself with a kid any time soon, and are against the idea of being tied down to someone else's then you're just going to have to chalk this up to bad luck. regardless you need to talk to him and express your concerns.best of luck...

It's not selfish to know what you want.  If you don't want your own children or to deal with someone else's children, that's your prerogative.  Btu this man comes with a kid.  If you don't want to deal with kids, it is much better to end things now before you get even more attached because if you are not willing to compromise your thought process (and I'm not saying you have to) then there is no point.  He has a kid and there is no getting around that.  There are other guys in your age range that will not have kids so you can find one of them.  It sucks if this guy is really great, but you should do this now rather than later.  You're right when you say there is nothing to talk about - there really isn't if you don't want to deal with kids.

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I agree - a child is major, lasting responsibiity and always top priority.

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Yes, honesty is the ONLY policy in this situation. Good luck.

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