Your question was: Why do guys use match.com?.
3 months is very short. My boyfriend said he loved me 6 days after we met (Yes, 6 days), so of course I wasn't ready to say it back. But he never asked me about it. He was very patient. At the same time he said it only a couple of times at the most after that first time. He wasn't pushy about it. If he said it to me all the time, I would feel pressure to say it back and I never do anything I don't want to so I would get annoyed. I know you said he likes it when you say it, but I personally still wouldn't say I loved him all the time. ..
Is the love you are feeling the "in love" that happens very quickly within a relationship (thru Match.com) or the deep love that a couple experiences as time goes on? .
If you want to change your social agenda then suggest something different. What is it that you feel you could do with each other that will help you get to know him better? Dont you talk with each other during drinks, dinner and other times? ..
Hi Winnie,.
Welcome to the board!!.
I'm happy for you - that you've found such a good guy!!!.
I'd slow down telling him you love him. He might see this as pressure. You can still love him and show him this in all kinds of ways. Be creative. I think your mans' honesty about his "love" for you is wonderful. You don't want him to say it unless he means it!! Also I'd come right out and suggest a different kind of date using Match.com the next time he asks you out. We all feel this frustration on these Pleatues. Be patient. We all over at different paces..
Good Luck,.
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Hi Winnie....
First of all, I am happy for you in your new relationship!! I can feel your situation... but my advice is to not push or over analyze it too much. When I first started dating (online dating with Match.com) my boyfriend, it seemed difficult to form a deep bond. We had a great time together, did lots of movies and dinners....and I adored him. But yet it seemed like conversation stayed superficial a bit more than I'd have liked. I tried not to freak over it, I had no reason to think he was disinterested. He encouraged our get togethers, but it was getting repetitious. It was right around 3 months that this happened. I waited it out, I didn't pressure, but tried to build things together. I stepped out and recommended us starting hobbies together, or trying new things. I would throw in more "We should do this" type ideas. Now, two months later, we've gone on trips out of state, have common hobbies, and have started building things together. It took a little over 3 months to exchange the I love you's. I still have worries, wants from my BF too... for example, I drive A LOT to see him probably 5-6 days a week. He appreciates it, and has mentioned living together early on... but now that we are MUCH closer, I would like to revisit it, but I just don't feel it's the time for him yet. So I'll hold off, as much as I want to know if he sees that in our future, I have to be okay with relaxing on it too... it will come..
Long story short, relationships are cyclical... you'll hit a growth spurt, and plateu... then it will surge foreward again. Try not to let insecurities smother you in your plateus, because they will. I have lost a few relationships to wanting my reassurance, but it will come REALLY look at what you have, and think "Is it worth pushing this, or can I give it time to grow?" and it will. Maybe faster than you think... I know I couldn't be happier, and i'm much more secure with my BF now, knowing that he will come around to things on his own and that I don't need to worry..
I hope this helps, or reassures you Good luck and Enjoy the ride!.
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